Frioniella: A Cinderella Parody
by Chesiere Cat
Summary: A Cinderella parody with Dissidia characters. BL. utter crack. 2x10. Part 2/3.
1. It Begins, Don't Cry

**Title:** Frioniella: A Cinderella Parody

**Disclaimer:** Dissidia Final Fantasy © Square-Enix

**Pairing:** Frioniel (Firion)/Tidus

**Rating:** PG

**Warning:** AU, BL, utter crack, seme in drag

* * *

**Frioniella**

**Chapter 1: It Begins, Don't Cry**

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* * *

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Once upon a time, there was a young virgin girl. 'She' lived happily with her parents until...when the girl turned 12, 'her' sweet mother forever left the world. The girl's father lived on in loneliness. Years passed, and as loneliness started to suck the liveliness out of him, the man fell on love with a beautiful and radiant widow. Not so long after that, the man and the widow got married.

The widow had two daughters with 'her' . Still, the man didn't object. The widow was kind and lovely. And 'she' got along with the young girl pretty well. And the step-sisters were pretty nice enough. Yet…as time flew and the now happy father died in his warm and cozy bed from illness, leaving the estate and other things to the radiant widow, things started to change.

The poor virgin girl was forced to work like a slave – doing housework and every other thing. However, 'she' didn't forget to look after her beloved bed of wild roses 'she' and her father had formerly worked on together, caring for the roses as 'her' virginity.

Not so long, the real name of the girl was forgotten as everyone started calling 'her' …

'Frioniella'

Frioniella's life had become a life full of hard work since then. 'Her' step-mother and step-sisters didn't care much about 'her' anymore. Yet, 'her' life wasn't so without color, for 'she' still had animals as friends - talking animals as you usually come across in fairy tales.

"Frioniella, you don't look so cheerful today. Don't make a face like that. A Lady has to smile, you know?" A small monkey named Zidane said, swinging down from the large branch. The monkey gave the girl a big cheeky smile. But its cheekiness was always tender.

"Yes, Frioniella, there are so many fun things to do. Don't be sad!" The little mouse named Butz piped up cheerfully.

Frioniella smiled sadly at the two animals. "I heard the royal palace will be holding up a ball soon. And the lucky girl will get the chance to dance with the prince. Mother is really interested. Too bad someone like me surely cannot go." The girl sighed. "Forget it. I'm going to clean the toilet."

Zidane and Butz watched 'her' saunter away with the cleaning equipments and then turned to look at each other.

"Hey, Butz…"

"Yeah, Zidane…"

A similar smile appeared on the two animals' face.

"Exactly what you're thinking!" They said simultaneously. "It's time for information gathering!"

With that said, the cute monkey hurled itself up the branch, swinging from the vine toward the nearest house window while the little mouse ran into the hole in the wall, making its way toward the cruel step-mother's room.

* * *

"Notice from the royal palace, this is an honorable invitation for every lovely canary in his majesty's ever peaceful kingdom, be her less beautiful, or more beautiful than me – even if the latter statement is impossible – to join the great ball our dark skinned Blitzball-loving king has decided to hold up so that the crybaby prince can have the opportunity of his lifetime to find the right girl as our old hag of an astrologer, Ultimecia, has predicted. Having read this, I hope everyone does not miss the event which will be held up tomorrow evening at the palace. Signed, royal secretary, the ever beautiful Kuja."

Light, the ever radiant mom, reread the notice for 'her' two daughters with her ever indifferent face and plain voice before looking up at the two lovely girls grimly.

"This is a good opportunity for our family to respond in kind to the ever generosity of the goddess of harmony, Cosmos. You two have to attend this event, dress in the most radiant dresses and capture the prince's heart."

"I'm not interested." Cloud, the older daughter, said, 'her' brilliant blue eyes stared at 'her' mother – no, past 'her' mother – with the expression of a mightily bored chocobo.

"Whatever." Squall, the younger daughter, replied, as dead-panned as ever. 'She' even wished 'her' mother would instead talk to the wall.

"But this is for Cosmos." The ever radiant mother continued; her face still calm and unchanging.

"…"

"…"

"One of you will even be future queen of the kingdom."

"It's a waste of time."

"And stupid."

"…………………"

The mother stared at 'her' two beautiful daughters silently before each of her hands quickly moved and pulled at each daughter's collars. Her face was still unchanged saved for the two long horns on her shiny helmet that was now instead pointing in front. There was a scary aura around 'her' even if 'she' was shining oh-so-brightly. Eventually, she spoke with voice dripped to the core with ice.

"You two shall attend the event. This is a mission!"

The two daughters immediately nodded simultaneously.

As soon as 'she' got the satisfying answer, the shining mother let go of them. "Now, go and get yourselves prepared, if there's anything needed to be fixed, call Frioniella."

Cloud and Squall gave another nodded before walking out of the room like ordered robots.

"…If there's no money, why can't Frioniella go instead?" The blond muttered as soon as they were out of their mother's hearing reach.

"……A SeeD like me only runs around and waits for the salary." The brunette replied before retreating to 'her' own room.

* * *

"They say the ball is for the prince to get a girl!" Butz, the small mouse, said as soon as it returned to the meeting place with its monkey duo behind the house.

The charming monkey folded its arms across its chest. "So…if Frioniella can attend the ball, there is a chance she isn't a virgin anymore, right?" It then nodded to itself. "Well, it is a lifetime opportunity indeed for a young lady to see the prince."

"But Frioniella doesn't have a dress to go." The mouse shook its head. "All the pretty dresses she has are now old. How can she attend the ball with those?"

"Oh, Butz, you really don't know a thing!" Zidane smiled. "Old dresses can't do. You have to know ladies don't like to wear old dresses to such grand event! Come on, move your mousy little ear closer!"

The clever monkey then whispered the plan into Butz's mousy little ear. On hearing Zidane's plan, Butz's smile grew wider and wider and…

"Surely, you can count on me! Frioniella will be very happy!" The mouse exclaimed happily.

The two then left to get the things necessary for Frioniella's surprise.

* * *

Frioniella had just finished cleaning the toilet. The cursed odor drifted of 'her', diffusing its evil self in the atmosphere. Any big or small animals ever had the luck to come across such odor started to puke themselves out while the poor plants in the vicinity started to wilt away. Still, before those lovely wild roses came to meet their untimely doom, Frioniella then realized it was proper she immediately got a bath. Even if…

To sport such odor made her almost invisible in the cruel step-mother's eyes.

Yet, even after bathing and making 'herself' clean, the cheerful animal duo, Butz and Zidane, were nowhere to be seen.

"Butz? Zidane? Where are you?" The virgin girl called, one hand grabbing a bucket, the other holding a rug.

While looking for the two friends, the voice of the ever radiant step-mother could be heard:

"Cloud, Squall, will you please listen to Mr. Cecil? This is a mission!"

"Oh, it's alright, Madam Light. To dance isn't an easy thing." Mr. Cecil crooned sweetly.

Frioniella then moved closer to the door, trying to look, with curiosity, through the keyhole.

Mr. Cecil, being the kind teacher he was, then repeated himself and showed the two girls, who had the most bored look plastered on their faces, how to move in the right steps.

"Please, follow my example. Here, Quick-quick-slow-slow-quick."

Slowly, instead of the still motionless girls in the room, Frioniella started to move, following Mr. Cecil's example. Quick-quick-slow-slow-quick, the young virgin girl moved, dancing to the flow of rhythm, listening to enchanting music. However…

"Quick-quick-slow-slow-quick."

Being too absorbed into the dancing, Frioniella was careless and forgot to keep 'herself' quiet.

The door creaked open. And…

"Frioniella, what are you doing here?" Madam Light was looking straight at 'her' before shifting that icy gaze toward the banister. "The banister isn't shiny enough."

"W…well…" Frioniella tried to make an excuse but with her acting all jumpy and stuttering like that, it was easy even for a mouse and a monkey to see through.

It was the good Mr. Cecil who came to the rescue.

"It's alright, Madam Light. I think this girl has quite the talent. I can teach one more without charging and will be very glad if she can join us." The gorgeous man smiled brilliantly.

"Then Mr. Cecil can teach Frioniella." Cloud immediately spoke up. After doing a good job of looking detached and utterly bored with life, the survival instinct of S-class chocobo finally reared its clever head.

"If you want the banister to be shiny, I can help with that." Squall suddenly kindly offered, still with that pokered-face of 'hers', before snatching the bucket away from Frioniella, promptly sauntering out of the hateful room.

Cloud also didn't wait. Having found a way to escape, the blond took the rug from Frioniella and quickly strode after Squall.

"…………" Light could only stare wordlessly after 'her' two daughters…only because 'she' wasn't fast enough to find a word to speak.

"So…let us continue, shall we?"

Nevertheless, it seemed Mr. Cecil was still alright with it.

The ever radiant mother sighed. Well, anyway, Frioniella didn't have a nice dress to attend the ball, so it wouldn't be a problem, would it?

At least, the royal palace's hall would still be…shiny.

* * *

So…while the girls were having their 'girly' businesses, the 'crybaby' prince of the kingdom was having the time of his life, namely the forever damage to his innocent pretty eyes.

"Whoaaa! Kuja, dude! Can you please wear something proper before coming into my room!?" The young prince whined, promptly covering his poor, innocent eyes behind a big pillow.

"Why, your highness, it shouldn't be a problem. This is the latest fashion garment I creatively designed myself. Its magnificent name…" The silver-haired man dramatically tossed his fluffy hair. "Is 'Peacock'."

"W…wha…!? 'Peacock'? Are you kidding me? That's some kind of an underwear you're wearing! A steel underwear!"

"Now, don't be rude, prince. It's 'Peacock'." Kuja insisted, checking on his newly manicured nails.

"It's a steel thong!"

"Peacock!"

"Steel thong!"

"Peacock!"

"Steel thong!"

"Peacock!"

"Steel—alright! What do you want!?" Prince Tidus finally sighed in defeat, his hand reaching out to find the air refresher he was quite sure he would need to spray all over the room after Kuja left. So, at the moment, he should quickly get things over with.

Kuja tossed his hair again.

"Ah, finally to the business, aren't we? Just like your highness has already been noticed, after the public declaration, tomorrow night those canaries from all over his majesty's kingdom will waltz in to join the ball. His majesty wishes your highness would select one of these lovely canaries as his future spouse, to become a princess and in the not so far future, our queen as an opening of the curtain to a new stage."

Prince Tidus made a face at Kuja's overdramatic statement. "That old man likes to decide things without asking."

"But he does it for you, my dear prince and you know it." The royal secretary waved it off as something not out of ordinary.

"Kuja…"

"Yes, prince?"

"I'll attend the ball like the old man wants but on one condition…"

"Which is?"

"Don't allow anyone wearing 'peacock' into the ball."

"…………" Kuja smiled, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

"What is it again this time, dude?"

"You finally said 'peacock'."

And, with a triumphant smirk gracing his strawberry glossed lips, the feminine royal secretary laughed evilly. His demonic laughter faded into the aging night.

What would happen after this? It would soon be revealed in the next chapter…

* * *

**To Be Continued**

* * *

I was sugar-high yesterday and wrote this, so I will blame the utter crackiness on the ever sweet sugar. XP

This is supposed to be a two shot. Things will conclude in the next chappie. Stay tune!

Anyway, please feed the feedback monster! XD~


	2. It Continues, Be Terrified

**Title:** Frioniella: A Cinderella Parody

**Disclaimer:** Dissidia Final Fantasy © Square-Enix

**Pairing:** Frioniel (Firion)/Tidus

**Rating:** PG

**Warning:** AU, BL, OOCness, utter crack, seme in drag

* * *

**Frioniella**

**Chapter 2: It Continues, Be Terrified**

* * *

It was dusk already. Frioniella threw 'herself' exhaustedly onto 'her' old little bed. The dancing class 'she' had had with Mr. Cecil was really impressive and fun. Mr. Cecil was very kind and a very good teacher. He didn't even mind 'her' servant-like position and gladly taught 'her' with all he had. Still…

The young virgin 'girl' frowned. The fact that 'she' didn't see the duo, Butz and Zidane, the whole day made 'her' a little worried even if 'she' knew them well enough that Zidane's monkey brain wouldn't become some freak's choice of appetite and Butz wouldn't get trapped easily in some highly innovative mousetraps.

What got 'her' worried, actually, was what 'she' suspected scared the two friends away that was…the accursed odor from the evil toilet 'she' feared didn't come off her completely even as 'she' had cleaned 'herself' again and again that wonderful morning.

Having that in mind, Frioniella sat up and examined 'herself', trying to smell for the remaining of that demonic odor on 'her' virgin body. However, suddenly, there was a startling yelp coming from under the window. The girl jumped in surprise before running toward the window.

As expected, it was Zidane and Butz. From where 'she' was, 'she' could only see them huddle together working on something but 'she' couldn't exactly tell what.

"Hey, Zidane! Butz!" Frioniella called.

The duo jumped at 'her' voice before they quickly hid that something behind their backs.

"What are you doing?" The girl asked.

"Uh…" Butz laughed dryly, trying to get away with his mousy little smile. "We…"

"Ah well, the mouse here was just clumsy and got his foot stabbed by the thorn." Zidane lied smoothly.

Still, it wasn't that easy to fool Frioniella. 'She' might be young and a virgin but that didn't mean 'she' was so innocent to be ignorant and stupid.

"What are you hiding?"

"N…nothing." The charming monkey forced a laugh. "Really, Frioniella, it is quite late already. Shouldn't a lady already be in bed for her beauty sleep?"

"Zidane…" Frioniella insisted, eyeing the two friends suspiciously.

Seeing that they couldn't win against this argument, the monkey and the mouse looked at each other before…

The monkey sighed.

"Hey, Butz…"

"Yeah, Zidane…"

"1…2…"

"Leg it!!!"

The two talking animals didn't wait. They snatched that something they had been hiding before running away from the still staring Frioniella…too fast for the girl to even say 'stop'.

* * *

Unlike the widely known tale of Cinderella, Frioniella the next day found 'herself' staring at the place 'she' had been living in this entire life in utter awe. The manner was now glowing with different shades of brilliance and its shininess even rivaled that of the Royal Palace. There was not a single trace of dust left for the cruel yet radiant step mother to make 'her' clean and clean and clean over and over again.

For a long, long while, Frioniella could only stand there and stare dumbly before 'she' finally thought there was at least something 'she' could do to make this strange day of 'her' virgin life just a little more ordinary.

At least, 'she' could still sweep the backyard. And maybe the lovely smell of roasted potatoes could later attract some weird acting mice and monkeys.

Yet…

As the back door swung open with an eerie creak…

That smell Frioniella was thinking of suddenly and oh-so-generously filled 'her' nostrils...

Along with the weirdest sight of 'her' two stepsisters, whose names should have easily gotten them a job in some weather forecast TV program, crouched on the already swept ground, silently and gloomily roasted the potatoes on the dry leaves…

Or…rather setting those poor potatoes on fire.

Smoke floated high into the air as dry leaves caught fire and burnt themselves into crisps. The fire burnt so fiercely and powerfully as if being enhanced by either a spell or some unspeakable hatred turned into grudge. The smoke was so thick it looked as if it had blanketed the sky and swallowed the bright, bright sun.

And…those poor innocent potatoes were hatefully eaten and scorched into nothing but ashes by this unforgiving fire of ultimate gloomy doom.

The vision of gloominess was given a break as a strong gust of wind blew the smoke temporarily away.

"Frioniella, what is the reason that men learn of roasted potatoes?" Finally noticing Frioniella, Cloud, being in 'her' most emo mode, gloomily asked.

"Wha-" Frioniella was dumbstruck. 'She' quickly took a step back only because 'she' had feeling that if 'she' continued to look at the gloominess, 'she' too would fall into its depthless suction.

"Being alone in the world isn't wrong." Squall mumbled quietly to himself, promptly stabbing one poor potato in the middle with a stake. "The only potato…that is not burnt…also…has nothing wrong."

The sharp tip of the long iron stake pierced through the victim that was the only potato that wasn't burnt and stuck out horrifyingly to Frioniella's virgin eyes like seeing a fellow innocent human being being sentenced to a stake by the ever infamous Vlad Dracula.

Frioniella took another step back, finding it strangely nauseating as 'she' saw Squall's evil stake evilly moved as if trying to scoop the poor potato's gut inside out.

"Frioniella," Cloud spoke again, 'her' blue eyes possessing that haunted look that gave normal people goosebumps, "What is the reason of roasted potato consumption?"

With that question asked, the victim potato was successfully being gutted out by Squall who wordlessly gave Cloud a chunk. The Chocobo Head immediately popped that accursed chunk of the victim's inside into 'her' mouth, slowly chewing with unchanged face as if to enhance the horrifying effect.

Squall then finally turned, 'her' storm colored eyes addressing Frioniella with their silent death sentence of dark, brooding justice:

'Eat the potato.'

No need for counting, entirely drenched with cold sweats, Frioniella screamed with all 'her' might for the tormented soul of the poor potato before quickly running away, slamming the door to the backyard behind 'her' without even once looking back.

Never. Ever.

* * *

Frioniella's tormented scream was so loud it could be heard even miles away and Prince Tidus, taking an after breakfast nap, was startled awake with a horrified yelp as he fell of his bed unceremoniously.

The Prince hugged his most favorite blitzball tightly and tried to calm himself.

"M…man, this is really an omen." The blond prince muttered with widened eyes. He couldn't totally shake away the very image of a nameless girl being forced into Kuja's so-called fashionable 'peacock'.

The doomed girl's shrilling scream was stilling ringing in his ears as vivid as any blitzball game cheer.

Tidus hugged his beloved blitzball even tighter and prayed for the hundredth time to the fayth, hopelessly hoping that he would never have to witness the terrifying sight again.

Never. Ever.

* * *

The day passed so quickly as Frioniella hid 'herself' behind locked door in the safety of 'her' own room while Madam Light, the ever radiant stepmother was too busy admiring the wonderful shininess to have the time to worry about 'her' two beautiful daughters and Frioniella.

That was until evening approached.

As if being called by duty, reminding herself of the responsibility and debt 'her' honorable family held for the Goddess of Harmony, Cosmos, Light knew the time as if setting an alarm clock on the schedule. 'She' immediately and gracefully glided toward the kingdom of darkness where 'her' two misguided daughters had rooted themselves in.

"Cloud, Squall, dear daughters, have you done dressing?" The horned helmet wearing mother called with a pokered face and a deadpanned voice.

Yet, the fortress of gloominess was built so strong as the two weather named siblings decided to work together, doubling the pessimism force. They locked themselves in the only room in the house that had no windows and no light, bolting the multi-layered locks and strengthened the defense with good amount of tables, chairs, Vincent Valentine borrowed coffin and a Buster Sword.

But as the light was always with Light, even if the two tried their best to defend their fortress of gloominess, it was like two human soldiers working against a Troll.

Bang! Crash! Thud!

The sounds of terror continued and Frioniella had to improve 'her' security level by hiding under blanket, trying to concentrate on the most sacred wonder of the world, which was, of course, wild rose.

And as soon as it began, it ended. The scary noises faded away into muteness as Light successfully dragged Cloud and Squall out of their kingdom of darkness.

"This is a sacred mission for the Kingdom and the goddess, Cosmos. Be honored."

"But the room is still unclean." Squall quickly pointed out, tilting 'her' pretty head toward the room that was previously their fortress of dark kingdom. Their last stand was futile but it wasn't as if they hadn't thought of Plan B.

Plan B: Offer to clean and make the fortress of gloominess bright and shiny.

"Frioniella is obviously sick." Cloud said; cleverly pointing to Frioniella's close door before Light could even bestow the virgin girl another sacred duty.

"…." Actually, Light wasn't really evil. 'She' was just obsessed with brilliant shininess. And if it was for Cosmos… "You can save the cleaning for later."

With that said, the light obsessed mom, Light, solidly dragged one golden chocobo and one kitten...err…lion to finally meet the ultimatum of their crossdressing doom.

* * *

After the destructive whirlwind that was the three were gone in a flash of dazzling departure in an all too white carriage, Frioniella was then finally granted with peace. The girl slowly poked 'her' head out of 'her' room.

"They are gone, aren't they?" The young virgin girl wondered to 'herself' but…

"Yeah, they're really gone." There was a voice replying back. "But you should also hurry."

The girl then looked down and noticed it was Butz, the little mouse, standing on his two tiny feet there.

Frioniella shook 'her' head. "Nay. I can't, Butz. I don't have the dress to wear to. I will just ridicule the grand event."

"Oh yes, you have!" This time, the voice was Zidane's. The charming monkey hurled himself in from the window, dropping something into Frioniella's arms.

"A gift for my lady." Zidane winked.

The girl's eyes widened in surprise. "Butz, Zidane, where did you get this dress from…?"

The two friends looked at each other before grinning widely.

"Well, we made it ourselves with a bit of this and that from those stuffs those two gloomy girls secretly dumped behind Light's back, you know!" Butz said proudly.

"Ah, but actually, we didn't really do all the work ourselves." Zidane shrugged and gestured to the suddenly open door. "We've got a helping hand here. From this wonderful and lovely lady."

Frioniella turned and saw a pretty girl with sad eyes albeit with gentle expression standing there.

"You are…?"

"My name is Tina. Tina Brandford. Umm…from the script, I'm supposed to be your fairy godmother but since I don't have a spell for the dress, this is…what I think I can do…to help."

The 'fairy godmother' said hesitantly as if unsure of herself.

Zidane turned and gave her an assuring smile.

"Let's get changed, Frioniella!" Butz chirped happily.

And because the stress of the entire exhausting day started to get to her, the authoress had become lazy and decided to extend a two-shot into a three-shot instead. With help from the lovely 'fairy godmother', would Frioniella be able to go to the ball as she had hoped? Would this story end, fortunately, with a not-to-freaky ending?

Still interested for the answer? More craziness?

Please…stay tuned!

* * *

**To Be Continued**

* * *

So…the two-shot has extended into a three-shot instead. I'm sorry for being too lazy but…yeah, I'll finish this in the next chapter. XP

Anyway, reviews are pretty much welcomed, as always. XD~


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